Linguistic weirdness

Okay.  Quick pop quiz:

What's wrong with this sign?

Me, I can't figure it out.  But I know there's something off and it's distinctly Irish.  I want to say there's a personality in the phrasing, but that doesn't seem like it...



I'm "getting on" very well with my room mates.  Did I tell you about them?  Two Johns.  One is a drama major and the other is getting a general degree and likes sports.  I will refer to them as John-with-girlfriend-from-Dublin and John-Spasmotic-Ball-of-Energy-Drama-Student.  John-Dubs and John-Dram for short.

Anyways, John-Dram, like to come home during my writing time and hurricane through the kitchen talking to me.  So I've been picking up on a lot of weird linguistic things.  They're both super-cool, but John-Dubs doesn't pause to explain his slang to me.  Also when he talks to his girlfriend they both speed up so it's not English anymore.

Anyways, things I learned from John-Dram.

You'll have a "grand" time, instead of a plain old good time.
If you say something funny, the person laughing with you will not say, "oh that's hilarious," but "that's  brilliant".  Oddly enough, "brilliant" is also an agreement to a good idea.  So if I say "hey let's avoid hitting those rocks up ahead," you may say "brilliant."

Mad Jack and I are not crazy, but "mental"... 

Something that is cool in a way that is difficult to achieve (for example clothes, cars, or interesting life experience) is also "class" which is different than "posh".  "Posh" is something that is cool but also kinda pretentious or compensating... I think.  Posh is bad to be.
Here's an example:

Dude 1: Ah, that car is grand, isn't it?
Dude 2: Yeah, it's real class.

Dude 1: That car's grand, isn't it?  How much do you think the wanker paid for the pink bits?
Dude 2: Dunno.  It's real posh, though.

If someone says "you're cute" they don't mean you're adorable, they mean your sly and cunning.  John-Dubs called Mad Jack cute and I was confused.

It only looks innocent and sweet.  Really this rabbit is cute.

There is also "whoore" which means the same thing as whore, and is said like 'who' with an 'r' at the end.  You use it affectionately.  Like I would say to someone in a sweet and friendly tone, "oh youre such a whoore" but behind their back I would still be like.  "she's a whore."  Well not me personally, because I generally don't give enough shit to talk behind people's back especially about degrees of whorishness, but whatever.

There is also "your man" / your man there" (or your one, or your girl) and "yoke" neither of which have been explained well to me yet. "Your man there" was described to me as a filler for when you are trying to remember someone's name.  I don't believe this 1) because the person who uses it the most, always knows the name of the person he is talking about and uses there name and 2) it's said really quickly so if it's a measure to buy time to think, you'd have to be really quick, like con-artist Irish quick... oh.  I've almost never heard it without the name of "your man" attached.

Example: So is your man Johnny Deep in any new movies since Dark Shadows?   

I love when pretty people make funny faces

Also the word "Yoke" is still confusing me.  I mentioned in a post about a random little boy that yoke basically means 'thing', but I've heard things like "damned stick yoke" or "you fuckin' yoke" and "where's the soap wand yoke."  Then I read a book by Roddy Doyle called The Snapper and he uses "yoke" in a whole host of ways that I never imagined using 'thing'.  I've realize John-Dubs and his girlfriend say it all the time and I've never heard it before.

Then there's "crack". Here's it used in a sentence.
Dude 1: *walks up to police officer* Excuse me, sir.  Where's the crack at tonight?
Capt.: Wha... you ballsy idiot!
Police officer: Oh the crack?  Well, most likely, it'll be at Rosin Dubh.
Capt: Wait... the police tell you where to find crack?
Dude 1: Oh, sure.  Any one will tell you if they know.
Police: Why deny a one their crack.  I might go along there myself later and have a little crack myself before heading on home to wifey.

You'll here people all over the city:  "I had the best crack last night."  Or "Let's get some crack" or "that yole we were up to?  Wasn't that the crack?" or "shall we head to the beach? That might be craic?"

Then I saw it on a buildings: Craic here.
And I realized 'craic' is slang for fun.

Coloring this in would be extra craic!

I'm sure there's loads more weird word stuff that's avoiding me... or that I haven't retained.

Oh, and speaking of weird word stuff...  I organized all my stories and I have written 240.  Quite a few are unfinished but a lot more than I though are finished.  This is good for Capt.